oy.

December 19, 2009 at 7:32 am (Uncategorized)

My eyes are swollen.

You know what’s completely ridiculous?  Emotions.  I mean, at what point in evolution was it necessary to emit liquid from one’s eyes when overcome with sadness?  I really can’t imagine any situation where that would be useful.

I honestly don’t want to talk or think about today ever again.  I didn’t put the flowers in water because a) i don’t have a vase and b) it would be a negative reminder.  I don’t ever want to look at my cap and gown again.

I can’t explain exactly why it was so important to me, it just really was.

And he put up a facebook status about being all emotional about it.  He didn’t really show it.  I still love him, he’s my dad.  I just want to forget about it.

Today was pretty much the exact opposite of what I imagined.  Yep, the complete and total opposite.  Ugh, I can’t even think about it without feeling sick to my stomach.

Good things:

Thoughtfulness and empathy in others.  Even when you feel totally out of control and like you are acting ridiculous, to know that the one you love is hurting because you’re hurting, is beautiful.  Not the hurting part, but the connecting part. Like your heart and theirs is directly connected with a string, and any pull affects both.

I will never get enough of anyone telling me they are proud of me.  Never.  I know that I’m proud of myself… and I can’t often say that.  But for others to recognize my hard work and sacrifices is a wonderful feeling.  I did good 🙂

My goal is to never take anything for granted, to see the good in people in every day life. It’s hard for me sometimes because I do have high expectations…or because I have any expectations at all.  But, I’m a Virgo and I can’t help it!  It’s not my fault other people don’t live up to  my high standards 😉

Honestly, all i really want right now is to stop feeling like I can’t breathe and sleep for 8 hours straight…I have a feeling that will be a challenge since Peanut has taken up a nightly residence atop my pillow, leaving only a few inches for my head.  But, dammit that cat loves me like nobody’s business and I can’t resist.

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